Beefwife is love, beefwife is life, big buff cheeto puff is my guide

Jasper, by Asia Kendrick-Horton

On first encountering Jasper in ‘The Return’ and subsequent appearance in ‘Jail Break’ I was pretty perplexed as to why she has a huge following in the Steven Universe fandom. I mean, she barely gets screentime!

Fast forward to reading fan speculations and consuming an exorbitant quantity of fanart later, I now obsessively spam twitter with endless streams of GLORIOUS BEEFWIFE.

(If you think shipping this is kind of trashy, well… YOU’RE RIGHT. I commit to full-time Jasper/Lapis trash. Great trash. I love this trash.)

I mean, it’s no surprise! Jasper is kind of a queer girl’s fantasy and oops I errr write characters like Jasper quite a bit: authoritative-to-authoritarian, beefy, intimidating military women. That describes about, I don’t know, at least 80% of my bibliography. I love writing queer women who don’t give one solitary fuck about cultural enforcement of ‘femininity’. They’re tall, physically imposing, very gay, and very scary.

So what I’m saying is, if you like Jasper, you’ll proooobably like some of my fiction. It’s my blog, I do what I want, and I figured giving a guided taster of my bibliography is helpful to some new twitter acquaintances.

‘Autodidact’ may appeal to Jasper/Lapis shippers (with, yes, exactly all the dysfunction, abuse, and exploitation that implies – it’s fucked up, intentionally so); Mehaan has much in common with Jasper while Nirapha is an embittered, mistreated and nihilistic psychiatrist who’s roped into Mehaan’s schemes.

On the second night she meets her co-parent.

Nirapha is eating alone, and then she is not. A chair clicking open opposite hers, a stranger filling the seat: a hard dense mass of a person in clothes so crisp they look brittle, like frost on the cusp of cracking. She judges the stranger to be in her eighties, mid-life, emblazoned rather than eroded by years.

“Mehaan Indari,” the woman says. “You’ll be teaching the ship ethics and interpersonal etiquette, I’ve been informed. I’m in charge of guiding it through combat simulations, so we’ll be coming in antithetical directions but working in—more or less—concert.”

Next ‘Golden Daughter, Stone Wife’! Guess which character is thematically and physically closest to Jasper.

“Tell them there is no golem.”

“But there must be, Mistress Erhensa.” This voice does not belong to my servant. “We detected the flux of its dissipation. I was dispatched immediately.”

It’s too dim for the glass to glare, and so I’m obliged to turn. The Ormodoni is ludicrously young, ludicrously freckled, and it is an insult they’ve sent this over a gray-haired officer. Her gaze severe, her shoulders high beneath the weight of pauldrons, her stance square despite the bulk of plating.

Can’t get enough of Jasper/Lapis vibes? ‘The Insurrectionist and the Empress Who Reigns Over Time’ will provide. Including, yeah, the fucked-up dynamics. Empress Narasorn does keep Sanhi tortured and imprisoned for a full year and then some.

Empress Narasorn is not beautiful, and the faith that ruled both her nation and her palace forbids court poets to tell lies. Her bearing-mother had been broad in the shoulder and thick in the neck; her giving-mother had been widely built. She inherited these aspects, and they should have made her breathtaking. But something in her features betrayed this excellent heritage—a sharpness of bone, an angle of jaw—and she was merely plain. Nor did she adorn herself; she dressed as a footsoldier might in times of war and scarcity. A blade was strapped to her thigh, passed down from her bearing-mother, and an arrowhead gleamed around her neck, a keepsake from her giving-mother. Her hair was austere, cropped, dyed iron-gray.

(All these were published well before I started watching SU and, for that matter, way before Jasper debuted on the show. But you know. This character type. My favorite. Beefwife 5eva.)

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